Ray Stevens says: Hang Up And Drive

This ought to suit my hump day attitude. A redundant message to those who can't seem to grasp the concept of the automobile.
Found at MP34U

Hang Up And Drive
by Ray Stevens
country/folk, comedy

American Slag Heap says: Can I get a round of applause for this man, here? With words that should have been said a long time ago, y'all. Do us all a favor and listen to this genius. If you are driving an automobile that was designed for TWO arms, then don't be reckless. Hang up and drive the dang car! A tip of the hat to my man Ray Stevens, with some vehicular wisdom that might actually save a few lives out there. From his CD appropriately titled One For The Road.

Sex Drugs and Blog n' Purge: TMSD-O9 virus found in airwaves!

I like sex. Don't you? It's got nothing to do with this article. Just making the title seem poetic...

Anyway,
I'm a blogger. Some days when I am lazy, I find articles that were already written and published, I copy and paste them here and do not expect anything in return. Here is an example:

Cocaine traces found on 95% of banknotes from Washington

• USATODAY.com - Submitted: 3 hours ago

Scientists have found traces of cocaine in 95% of banknotes collected in Washington, the American Chemical Society reports, and 90% from large cities such as Baltimore, Boston and Detroit. The lowest average was found on bills collected from Salt Lake City. The findings were presented at the 238th National Meeting of the ACS, which says the study suggests "cocaine abuse is still widespread and… » Full Story on USATODAY.com

See? I didn't write that article. I haven't even read it. Someone else wrote it and got payed for it. I'm just sampling...and making the title poetic and upping my google ranking by using popular keywords...like booty, sex and cocaine!

It reminds me so much of the music industry. Within the last 10-15 years, technology has enabled people to "sample" other peoples music and Frankenstein it in to their"own" creation.
We songwriters had to sit back and just watch the feeding frenzy begin. Now it's normal. It's pretty much expected. If you are in the R and B or Hip Hop genre, I'm willing to bet that that 75 percent of your art, craft, talent, or whatever you define it as, is based on computer skills. I'm only judging this by what I hear on the radio these days. This has produced art, yes. But it has wandered so far off the music path that people are starting to vomit.
It's true....
The other day I was in traffic and I was next to a Prius on the freeway. I was bored so I rolled down my window and asked the lady in the Prius what she was listening to. She said she wasn't, paused, shrugged and turned on the radio. Within 15 seconds her entire dashboard was covered in steamy mucas vomit bile. I almost puked myself. Then a miraculous thing happened. The guy in the car behind me puked in his car. Then the car in front of me. Then it just dominoed down the freeway. Cal Trams had to intervene for the biggest clean up I'd ever seen. It was sick and gross. I was sure it was the apocalpyse. But it wasn't. We found out later from a Cal Trams spokes man that a virus had been traced in the 26 bit sampling found in the songs that were on the air. An audio virus called TMSD-09 was the culprit. A U.C. professor said,
" If real music isn't brought back soon...with real instruments...and real talented artists...I'm afraid to say what the consequences will be...don't be surprised if you hear about this on NPR...we all know how real things become once they are on NPR...it's time to refocus, people...think of the children..." He paused dramatically and then screamed,"Watch Soylent Green!" And then he vanished into thin air...
If you believe this story then you must be one of these culprits!
It's time to refocus.
I am also a musician...time to save the world again...
Here is a song called "Happiness"
all sounds were made by me. One real track at a time...

your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Buddhist Christ! What's the deal with the health care argument?

Whenever I hear about the health care arguments, I think of one man who tried to settle the same score. Now, I am a Buddhist rasied East Baythiest, but what I have rediscovered during todays research is that Jesus Christ was all about health care reform! I think what we really need is a democratic envangelist on the TV to get the word out to the people who have forgotten what the original message of Jesus was.

Only he would be able to talk to his people.

"Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me."

" When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. 13But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: 14And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."

The care of the poor is a branch of charity. In the narrow sense charity means any exercise of mercy towards one's fellowman rooted in the love of God.

Bacon Bra? BACON BRA?!!

Ok...I'm just a little disturbed by this image. Are you? At first, I wasn't.
Then...I thought back to those days when I was a child. I'm sitting in front of the TV with a half eaten sandwich, a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal, an orange that I probably won't touch and a commercial comes on. It's Sally Struthers. She is crying. Her make up is running down her face. Then I notice the flies. And the starving Ethiopian children. Sally starts to tell me things that bring guilt to the mind of someone who might be too young to truly comprehend guilt. I run out of the room...
" MOM!" I scream. "How come Archie Bunkers daughter ate all those kids food!??!"
I didn't really watch the whole commercial. But what I do remember is that I had extra food and these kids didn't have any at all.
So now...I'm all grown up. And I work on this computer everyday. And the Huffington Post sent me an e mail update with this article about what people shouldn't really do with bacon. And the same thought came to my mind. What do the starving children think about when they see grown ups playing with their extra food? What kind of mindless dicks would publish such vain atrocity? It's like saying, " Ha ha...we have sooo much food that we can put it on my wife's tits, snap a pic and make enough adsense money to buy more food! " And did you noice she's too ugly for a face shot?

Not to mention that bacon is sacred to me. Because it tastes good. That is the only reason I love bacon. It is something that should not be messed with. This gross sense of debauchery is typical and the epitome of how Americans have simply gone to the dark side.
Swine Flu... Now I understand.

(sigh)
Ok...to take my mind off this crap....I gotta find some music.
Here is some classic Django Reinhardt to do the job:

Django Reinhardt et le Hot club de France
“Intro” (mp3)
from “Echos de France”
(Barajazz)

Your Friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

Cash For Clunkers? New Canvas For Ska Fans!

Out with the old and in with the new. Folks are starting to get rid of their jalopies and rust buckets which might be riddled with old bumper stickers that have been out dated for years now.










So why not slap something new and refreshing on that new vehicle! With a statement that is politically correct, hip AND more importantly, girl friendly!
Are you familiar with the old term for "skank?"
It used to mean wretched, filthy whore, drug worn lady of the night...etc...
And that aint right. Women hate that word.
The new and current meaning of the word "skank"
has been redefined by the world of Ska music fans and enthusiasts.

And now with this trend of Cash for Clunkers hitting the auto world, it's a perfect opportunity to re address this statement, with its more suitable definition. NO longer is this word a noun...

To Skank is to Dance.

Check it out here...you'll see what I mean.