Being Married To Technology pt 1

 It was back in the 20th century that we all started an exciting relationship with technology. Technology was alluring, mysterious and attractive back in those days. It wasn't an all day/night experience like it is now. We weren't texting in the bathroom. Technology wasn't hands on all the time. There were those in between moments of nothing that we spent in transit or just waiting. Remember? Just sitting there sometimes with thoughts in our heads. Thinking. With our brains. About stuff. And people. Or maybe the future. And sometimes, not all the time, we would catch our selves imagining what the next experience with technology was going to be like. Back in the 70's technology had names like "the radio", "TV", " The telephone", "calculator",  "pay phone", "phonograph and cassette player/recorder ", "camera (2 week wait for film development ) ",  "Instant camera", "movie camera" and if you had a projector you could watch movies at home. 

 Technology courted us and made us slowly earn it's respect. It made us yearn for more time with it. We would get up, walk across the room and turn the record over. We would manually turn it on and watch TV all night if we could. But back then our relationship with TV was still new. It was like being on a great first date and wanting to spend more time, but TV would say, " No dear. I would like to take things a little slower and get to know you better in time. Besides I like when you miss me. So I'm going to bid you good night. But I will see you first thing in the morning if you like. " Then the flag would appear across the screen as if it was waving goodnight. The national anthem would play and then a sonic tone would sound. And we would get up and turn the TV off with a sigh and go to sleep. With our thoughts. Thinking about stuff. About people. The future...

By the 80's we were pretty much going steady with technology. Some of us had headphones for our mobile cassette players. The phone became untethered from the wall. We could walk out of the room on a wireless phone. Or keep it under the sheets and talk quietly all night with our lovers and best friends. Remember that? Video game arcades were already a place to congregate and some of us even had video games we could play at home. And then Cable was added to the TV so it stayed on all night. VCRs, too. We would marvel at the Sharper Image magazines for hours, what with all its gizmos and 007 gadgetry. Pagers would allow us to connect 24 hours of the day. Cell phones started to appear awkwardly in peoples luxury cars. Folks were learning COBAL programming on IBMs and Apple personal computers. We were, in fact,  totally going steady with technology and very happy about it.

Good times.

 And by the 90's we were engaged to technology. It was an exciting time. It was a normal part of our lives. We had back packs and fanny packs filled with technology. Our cars had cd and tape collections that kept in rotation. We made mixed tapes. The appearance of technology started to get sleeker and cooler. Designer gadgets gave us the feeling of being prepared for the 21st century. Cellular phones were becoming common. The landline phones were mostly touch tone and wireless. VCRs were collecting movies we could keep. MTV was still playing music. We were still hand writing letters, but technology was becoming a  brand new part of our culture. It was changing us. And we were totally stoked about changing ourselves in our pursuit of a better experience with  technology. That's what happens naturally in any relationship. And like most relationships, technology wanted to know where this was all going. Because I guess it wanted a real commitment. Which we fully did.  And during the 90's an explosion happened in the Silicon Valley that is still rippling at full speed today. The dot com boom. The internet. The next step. The MARRIAGE. The ability to connect our already installed personal computers was something that couldn't happen fast enough. And when it finally did, the whole world changed and shifted. And since then we the people of the world have been synchronizing everything to computers. Cel phones seem to be the surrogate offspring of the internet marriage. The added feature of our engorged commitment to our beloved technology. And technology really didn't make us change, either. There are some stories of how people must learn to change for the duration of a relationship. Some people have even sacrificed their own ways and livelihood for the benefit of another. Or a family. Some people simply can't. But when it comes to our current modern relationship with technology, we do it voluntarily and automatically. There is no chain attached to the ball in this marriage. We will follow technology down the lightest or darkest path if we have to. Climate change or not. We won't live with out technology. 

We are committed...

It is now the 21st century. Our human nature, which has been relative to our environment for thousands of years, has taken a sudden twist and turn. Think about thousands of years of being on this planet as a species. Where nature provides it all. How we migrated across the planet slowly over time. The endurance of a species usually depends on its ability to adapt to its habitat. Next time you are out in public society, try to not get on your phone for five minutes and take a look around. You will notice a couple of things. One, everyone else is on their phone. Two, the connection to our environment has been replaced, subsequently altering the culture of humanity into a money quest. For thousands of years we have lived in harmony with the environment. And for the last 200 years the industrial machinery expansion has been there chaperoning us into a new era. A digital epoch. Where we convince our selves that we are in control of the natural order with a push of a button. These are the times of high adventure. And believe me, most of us our high on technology. Some of us don't even know that we are. They may have never dialed a nine on a rotary or had to walk a freeway to an emergency phone. So they don't know how high we actually are. Because they don't have a reference like some of us do. Because some of the people in this world remember the old traditions with cognitive clarity. And some of us see the process of natural order and realize a few things that cannot be replaced with technology. There are still some basic things that mankind cannot own completely: Land, water, music and love. These things will always be here to replenish what we think is missing. They will help us to find a balance with this amazing technology. Because it is not going away. We cannot simply divorce technology and go our separate ways. It aint that kind of a marriage. But what we can do is try not to let it kill us all at once. That, really is the answer so far. If we can do that, we're fine. Because we are the type of species, like most species, that like to stretch this whole existence thing out as far as it will reach. Moderation needs to also be in moderation. If we can figure out how to take technology by the hand and walk into the future, we will probably live happily ever after as a species...for a long time. 

So let's do that.

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The Walking Phone ZOMBIES: Did I miss a meeting on being an adult?

Smart Phones are awesome!
It's like having a computer, a cd player, a camera and a phone in my pocket!
I love having music to listen to...but not too loud so that I can't hear someone else's footsteps or a car. Unless of course it's a Prius. Which is also a reason to keep my phone in my pocket and my head up and eyes alert. I don't want to get smashed by a Prius. That would totally suck. And since I am already compromising my hearing with my ear buds, I feel it necessary to constantly check my surroundings using my eyeballs. My eyeballs are also awesome. They keep me from running into things all the time. All the time! In fact it's pretty much guaranteed that if I use them, I won't run into stuff.
SO far, so good. Right?

But when I look around, all I see are people walking with their eyes locked into their phone screens, with their heads bent. Texting. 

And I have to ask myself:  Did I miss a meeting on being an adult?

It's like a multi player game of side-walk-chicken. I admit, people's peripheral vision has become very sharp in the process. But the fact that everyone is looking down with their heads slightly bent is kinda Twilight-Zoney. It's weird. I see parents using their own children as seeing eye dogs!  WTF? And it is something I cannot get use to. I saw a lady near the Bart station walking while typing on her ipad. This particular Bart station has a history of muggings. I think any metropolitan train station has a history of muggings. So when I saw a lady almost get hit by a car while walking with her ipad, I noticed something strange. She barely even acknowledged the car who skidded to a stop in front of her. She just walked out into the street without looking up. It was a cross walk, but you still need to look. She kept walking to the other side of the street and I noticed the driver was on his phone, shaking his head. Probably telling the person on the phone what just happened; some stupid lady walking and typing on her ipad (almost getting hit by someone driving and talking on the phone.) I am pretty sure I heard Darwin laughing somewhere beyond the clouds. I wasn't laughing, though. I was a block away when all this happened. I was actually in a state of disbelief. I have read about muggings in this area, but I never knew WHY muggers chose this area. That lady was SO distracted that not only did she almost get hit by a car, but... she didn't see A BLACK MAN was approaching her on foot. Luckily for her, it was me. And she didn't even see me until I said something to her. I said very articulately, " Hey...you might want to pay attention to your surroundings in this area. There have been muggings and phone snatches. " I said this as I was walking, so as not to startle her. I should have screamed BOO! But I didn't. If she had dropped her ipad, I would have felt bad. And probably arrested for attempted robbery. You know how it is. Being black. It would have been a tactical error on my part to make her drop her ipad for any reason. I just wanted to help, really. She was a sitting duck out there. A robber has an advantage of surprise if you don't see him/her casing you from a block away.
I hope she understood. I really do.

I'm not trying to be a do-gooder, nor am I attempting to win an award for outstanding citizen. I just see a bunch of people who are REALLY spacin' out big time, man. If the consequence of spacing out is a concussion or a robbery or both, then that's a problem. Even the news is starting to issue broadcast warnings for people to start paying attention to their surroundings.

I have yelled, " Hey,  get out of the street!" to more adults than children. People are meandering into the street on their phones. I see them do it right in front of me. Their phone rings; they answer. They politely walk away from people on the sidewalk so that they don't disturb them (which is a courteous gesture), but they walk right into the street. Without looking. The nearest and most convenient place of privacy. And they stand there and talk and gesticulate. And then all of a sudden, as if out of no where: SCREEEEETCH!! HONK!!! BEEEEEEP!!

(blink blink)

(Sigh...)

I don't know what the remedy to this phenomenon is. People don't appreciate being reprimanded in public for anything. Especially if they are actually doing something stupid. Like talking on the phone in the middle of the street. Children aren't allowed to do this. Because it is dangerous. Most people tend to ignore my warning until a car comes. So I don't really know what the solution is here.
I just have to see it all the time.

What I do know is this: So far... in the history of our existence here on earth, there has never been a time when everyone on the planet has had a satellite communication device. So I understand it's kind of a new thing. I am sure that in the future, people will eventually adapt. Until then...it's looking pretty awkward out there. A dumbing down effect is in order. Since the dot com venture capitalist game started in the 90s, people have become addicted to technology. We are adults. We are all guilty. We were all told things when we were young that apply to this very topic.
" If you sit too close to the TV, you're gonna go blind and stupid! "

So...people. 

Beware of the walking phone zombies. 

Be aware.

Your friendly cyberhood 

Uncle Samurai

Big Brother

Big Brother by Uncle Samurai

Big brother has a name and his name is url
(aka) H double T P colon with 2 slashes, Girl
You know his plan and execution of the big take over
Ballin’ dollars on the web like an arachnid rover

Sittin’ trapped like a bug inside a virus on line
My legs have atrophied and petrified right under my spine
And my vocabulary’s changin’ and my memory, too
Do you remember browsin’ links at your dads barbeque?

I try to talk to my friends they put their book in my face
I’m sending letters of affection to the stars in my space
Yeah I’m attached to my server like the phone in your head
We used to talk about clothes now we discuss them on threads

You leave the house in your pajamas wearin’ Ugs and no socks
You can’t deny it I just read it in your friends comment box
You say you have an education but I say LOL
You got no punctuation skills and you’re too lazy to spell

Oh B T W I’m guessing that your B double F
Has got a photograph of you photographing your self
And so I’m ROTFLMAO clutching my side
As you continue texting messages to friends while you drive


Big Brother is growing so big bright and blue
And his huge electric globe has been caressed by you
And if you think it’s hard enough to get connections through
Then think about the link he wants to send to you

Slow Grind

It is an era of hyper-instant-gratification. Technology has erased all my friends phone numbers from my head. WTF? I used to know them by heart. In fact, my friends use to ask me for their numbers when they were drunk. Now...it's different. Everything has sped up. Language is getting chopped into acronyms because we are too lazy to spell. I remember rotary phones. And I could probably send out 3 texts in the time that it takes the rotary dial to duh,duh,duh,duh,duh back from the number 9. But have things improved with the speed of technology? The answer is, pardon my french...fuck no they haven't. To quote Louis CK, the comedian, "Everything is amazing and nobody's happy."

So...

If you are like me and prefer quality to quantity, then this song is for you.

Because good things take time. So have patience with your Slow Grind...in this amazing era.

And good luck!

Slow Grind by Uncle Samurai

This message has been approved by

your friendly cyberhood (and sometimes vitriolic and rhetorical)

Uncle Samurai