Thursday, March 20, 2008

Ode to Gary Gygax

This is my shout out to Gary Gygax
the inventor of D and D.
A strategy master. A geek icon.

This poem should be read out loud with the attitude of an early eighties rapper.
(let the beat boxing begin)

Wizards and ogres and witches get ready
His name is Gary G. and he's about to hold steady
forever in the crypt with eternal spells and mists
he's lookin' down and shakin' 20 d's in his fist

Aimed at the politics and all the evil devils
these land shark skirmishers claimin' 9th level
the chillborn zombies that have frozen all the polls
and the warband builders smashing votes like trolls

Gary G. is sayin' once again it's on
regeneration powers like my man Obi Wan
Spellplague resistance to republican throws
holdin' nine inches of limp wand for these ho's

You can ask this old druid from around the way
he thought he had the G man trapped for a day
but Gary just laughed like the druid was a joke
and escaped with his spare invisibility cloak

the G man hit him with some dice on a chain
the druid lost his chakra and went totally insane
his soul was melted and his sword was too
and now these politcians don't know what to do

they are scared and worried and possessed with fear
Cuz Gary's lookin' down with an ogre killing spear
a flick of the wrist to any one who is a foe
and if your tryin' to battle Gary with a saving throw

you'd better think twice about who you tryin' to beat
he's got cloak and dagger weapons for your policies
Obama is protected with a counter fire ball
republicans will vanish like Lady Krimmevol

His spells move faster than any Shadow master
exploitin' all your hits like the internet napster
I tip my brim to the ancient memory
Mr. Gary G. pimp of the D to the D


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Polical vent #1

Slap them republicans with a brand new idea
while they browse for furniture down at ikea
Tell them out loud if you dare to omit
that most of their policies fly like cold spit

They love to find reasons for candid oppression
their old fashion ways of new passive aggression
with tongue fu so fierce framed inside of a smile
words full of hopelessness mixed with no style

Glory hole greeters in restrooms afar
prostitute Johns driving old rent a cars
Money for nothing and gold by the ounce
checks from tall buildings that drop with a bounce

Greedy old faithful and hungry for more
take from the poor make them fight for your wars
relentless redundant monotonous too...


Ok I feel better now...
how 'bout you?