Thursday, September 30, 2010

For the Conquering

Here is a song I wrote recently. It's one of my many replies to all the political whining that's going on in the democratic party. When I heard that someone was "tired and exhausted" of defending President Obama, I was disheartened a bit. And I wondered if maybe during Dr. Martin Luther King's walk to the capitol, it was this person's relative who mentioned this same kind of thing to Dr. King.
"Mr. King...I'm getting tired of all this walking AND defending you. I thought you said we were gonna get 40acres AND a pony! "

Impatience wasn't the virtue I had read about.
Especially when it includes say an ENTIRE NATION of people.
But...instead of actually saying this to somebody...I wrote down these words with one of those old fashion tools we used to keep around the house. I think it's called a pen.
So this one is about internal struggle with in the camp; no fighting in the temple; bringing down the moral...etc...
We have technology. Let's use it to stick together...

You voted for change, now you wanna back out
I don't really know what you're talking about
You partied all night on the 8th of November
Now you try to act like you don't remember

You said if he lost you would move far away
And leave us with the people who continue to hate
They want us to flock like birds of a feather
Who can't take the pressure of sticking together

So let me remind you my friends
They unite to divide us all for the conquering

I don't mean to diss or scare you away
But the party on the right's pushin' judgement day
They're so quick to republish the hype
The monotonous drone of a stereo type

They got you shakin' like your sittin' on ice
Afraid to speak out because it wouldn't sound nice
You can't stand the words I've said

Let me remind you again
They unite to divide us all for the conquering

Divided we fall, united we live
In spite of it all I could never give in
Lookin' back I would have to admit
That loose lips sink relationships
And if we end up lost at sea
You'll be looking down tryin' to tread on me
So hold tight to your hopes and dreams
They want control of the whole damn thing

And let me remind you again
They unite to divide us all for the conquering

~Musashi Lethridge

This song will be up soon on
The Musashi Trio at Reverbnation page...

AKA your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Po'tree: Impossible...

In our hearts beat the rhythm of infinite dreams
In our souls we need not know what this means
Faith is the compass that wakes us tomorrow
Time is the essence of all things we borrow

I like to lean with a smile to tease gravity
Everything we do means the world to me
Through out our own lives we may see why we live
The reason we're here is our reason to give

Those who make haste to control other's dreams
Lose the meaning of hope and destroy everything
The heaven they've made with their insecure minds
Will be void of their soul like a light to the blind

Karma and justice divided by grief
Subtracted by moments of pure disbelief
All tell a tale that we find so endearing
When we take the time to confront what we're fearing

Negative news is abusive and crass
It manifests future events from the past
Focused on this type of sincerity
Brings out the worst of our humanity

Truth is a razor, a shield and a cup
It cuts and protects and might swallow you up
A day without truth is a child with no smile
I can live with your lies but I'd drown in denial

For every lost heart there's a family of dreams
For every cruel act there's an ocean of streams
For every lost moment that echos with pain
There's a chance of pure hope to remind you again

It is impossible for all to be lost...

your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The next level of Haiku poetry: Edition #1

As a Black and Japanese person, I thought it would be fitting to revisit an old folklore tradition called "yo mama caps", (which was very popular among Black youths in my school days) and blend it with a Japanese poem format called Haiku.

"Yo mama caps" as I remember, was (and still is) the art of creating an imaginary mother of a friendly foe and manifesting insult, within an improv theme. Often done near a small audience of friends and/or acquaintances acting as a judiciary panel for deemed scoring ability. Shouts of "oooh shiiiiiiiiit!" and " Daaayuuuum!" were the equivalent of scored points in a match.

Popularized as a "one liner delivery" form, I though it would be a challenge to consolidate this "street thespianism" into Haiku format.

Haiku format, as you may know has 3 lines only.

The 1st and 3rd lines of poem must be 5 syllables. The 2nd line must be 7.

Some find Haiku poetry extremely challenging. Some do not.

As it turns out...I have a natural gift for this new hybrid art from which I have dubbed:

"Haiku Yo Mama-san"

I hope you enjoy this collection of works as much as I did creating it.

Your mom is so fat

she went outside today

The whole earth stood still

Your mom's so greasy

Rosie O donnel once said

she tastes like chicken

Your mom is so dumb

she could not write a haiku

and misspelled E.T.

Your mom is so poor

she used the corn on her feet

to feed you today

Your mom is so big

The Sun Belt holds up her pants

The Moon is eclipsed

Your momma's so dumb

she jumped out of a window

and fell to the sky

Your mom's so greasy

Jermaine Jackson had to say

your mom's so greasy

Your mom's retarded

She must wear a blue sticker

to think thoughts out loud

Your Mom is so large

the big bang theory still stands

right under your mom

Your mom smells so bad

I saw a skunk hold his breath

when he walked by her

Your mom drives so bad

my asian relatives say

your mom should not drive

Your mom drives so bad

I heard she failed the exam

on your new skateboard

Your mom is so fat

Greenpeace has taken the fifth

and has walked away

Your mom is so thin

she jumped into a fruit loop

and then disappeared

Stay tuned for Edition #2 of "Haiku Yo Mama-san"

Your friendly cyberhood

Uncle samurai

My Favorite Haiku: A Lesson From Sesame street

Here is a Haiku poem I wrote this year. It is one of my favorites.

I call it
A Lesson from Sesame Street:


your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Haiku Humpday For Tea Baggers

To break up the week, I have collected some Haiku poetry of mine for your viewing pleasure.

Haiku poetry is a simple format. The first line must be 5 syllables. The second line is 7 and the third line is 5.

Within this format I have written a few poems to poke fun at the tea bagger party. Also known as "extremely paranoid republicans."
Using the "fourth grade IQ" technique (which I have been developing over the years specifically for tea baggers since the age of 9), I have found a perfect harmony of comedic degradation, insult and level of intelligence to match this particular party of politicians.
I hope you enjoy this collection of works as much as I did creating it.

Your friendly cyber hood
Uncle Samurai

Sarah Palin Haiku:
You don't deserve one
You are beneath a Haiku
Let's change the subject

Haiku written for Christine "Dingbat" O'Donnell:
Tea bagging nut job
Witches are not satanic
Balls in mouth choking

George W. Bush Haiku:
You said Nuclear
But it sounds like Noo Kuh Ler
Thank god you are gone

Tina Fey Haiku:
God made you funny
Sarah Palin must hate you
Do it some more please

Pee Wee Herman Haiku:
When you skeet skeet skeet
Aim at Christine O'Donnell
Steal all her wet naps

A Haiku about Chris O'donnell and Sarah Palin in an MMA fight against Ellen Degeneres and Margaret Cho:
There was so much blood
A double death by strap on
Lesbians kick ass

A Xmas Haiku about Sarah Palin:
Santa Claus can't fly
The Reindeer refuse to work
They are scared to death

(all poems are written hypothetically and do not necessarily reflect the views and/or opinions of google)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Legend Of The Tea Party Stalker: Christine O'Donnell

Delaware's Christine O'Donnell has recently filed a complaint with Facebook for something I am not even sure about. The letter has surfaced to sources unknown and many republicans are confused.
This version of her letter was said to be a tribute by an unknown writer. It was originally in the Polish language, but later transcribed into English. The fact that it rhymes is both amazing and purely coincidental:

Dear Facebook I have a bone to pick
Someone has slandered my name and pics
I'm trying to enjoy my new victory
but it's difficult when someone's stalking me

I receive a letter in my inbox daily
it's from T.P.S. could you block her maybe?
It gives me an ache in my poor tired head
Read it yourself, this is what she said

Hi Miss O'Donnell, I think you're so nifty
you look really good, not a day over 50
congratulations girl on your huge senate win
It makes me want to touch myself again

I know for a fact that we both are not married
I'm bi curious, so this shouldn't be scary
any time I see you with a mic in your hand
I wanna be more than just facebook friends

What if that mic was a toy that you got me
and you're looking up like a well trained husky
down on your knees with a look of pure sin
with sad puppy eyes and conservative grin

I 'd love to meet you and clear up this mess
I hope that this letter does not bring you stress
let's start a new club so our friends are impressed
the Savior Alliance for Lifting my Dress

Please don't be bashful and don't think I'm crass
I heard you went down onto Dickinson's class
and came right back up with a bachelor's degree
but lost your old mortgage to IRS fees

Which just gets me hotter than teen fornication
To know that we women are strong in this nation
paid out vacations from me with libations
and we can move past all this skype masturbation

but I'll keep that pussycat right in the bag
you call me dyke and I'll call you my fag
and every long day will be ours to let drag
all your GOP friends will have reason to brag

Republican party or two party lickin'
I heard Sarah Palin still tastes like fried chicken
So please write me back and please don't abort this
I'll send it to God if you choose to ignore this

Sincerely T.P.S.

The Legend of The TEA PARTY STALKER will continue...
Your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

(This is a fictional blog. Words and photos from this article do not necessarily reflect the opinions of google)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My "Vacation" pics in Amsterdam

As the on line experience becomes more and more expanded, I have discovered that traveling might be over rated. What with all the angry anti muslim and anti american and anti war and anti- anti war people out there, why spend money running into these nut bags? Especially when I can just take a vacation here on the couch, with the smell of fresh cooked pizza in the air. For free. I know it might not seem like a real vacation. Not until I post it on line and share pics with my envious friends! Then all those memories rush in as I tell the stories. Even if they aren't my memories. Who cares, it was a free trip. Both ways. So if you have the time like I do, I highly suggest trying it. I know that when I "get back" and read the comments my jealous friends have shared, it will feel exactly like a real genuine vacation. Minus the real genuine expenses! Who ever reads the blog part anyway. Most people just scroll down, look at the pics, add a stupid comment and then get back to work before their angry hateful boss catches them.

Anyway, here are some pics from my "vacation" in Amsterdam:

Here is a real prostitute in the famous red light district.
I took the photo while high on weed

Here I am again still taking photos in the red light district.
STILL high on weed (that guy there is also high on weed. he didn't even know I was taking the picture, he was so high)

I ended up buying all these clogs because I was frikken zonked on some
Canal #7 (that's code for weed)

And here's the bike I rented but never rode. I lost the key to the lock
cuz I had just smoked a brickload of some Blonde Affy (which is aka hashish)
it's the same feeling as being high on weed

So I ended up taking the bus a lot. I asked this lady at the bus stop if she would take a picture of me next to a real prostitute. The lady said no. And the other lady, turns out, wasn't even a prostitute and walked away. Here is a pic of the lady that wouldn't take a picture of me and that other lady (who I swore looked exactly like a real prostitute and walked away).

Then I thought, HEY! I could rent a car while I'm here...
Want some advice? Never rent a car in Amsterdam
while you are high on weed

So, after wrecking that car, I went back to the coffee shop.
I totally forgot they even sold coffee there. Then I forgot I had
wrecked that smart car. But I remembered how friendly the
natives are in good old Amsterdam.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my vacation pics.
I'm pretty sure every vacation I take will be in Amsterdam from now on.

Your friendly cyberhood
uncle Samurai

The Legend Of The Tea Party Stalker

There once was a woman who lived in the minds

and the hearts of the people so brave and so kind

she would lurk in the shadows of political rants

and plot her revenge on these new miscreants

In a world of true sin and a world still at war

she knows all the reasons she's fighting for

so she made up her mind and she sold her old home

and spends time with her laptop on the road alone

Her first real victim was a tea party gal

she sent a request to be her facebook pal

the next thing you know there was drama on line

now the tea party gal is doing hard time

Confused and dazed she sits behind bars

and wonders how things could have gotten this far

why would my husband "go behind my back"

and " use the kids toys to smoke his crack"

Or "have 3 affairs with two young men

in the back of a Dennys bathroom AGAIN?"

and how could he ever think to be so rotten

and "sell ALL my jewelry for Oxycotin"

Then "drive out of state to a private tea party"

in an" eighteen year old girls Mazarati"

snorting" blow from her hand while drunk on Bacardi"

while I sit in jail as LaTeesha's new hottie

My children are gone and my husband has fled

And the note that he found are not words I have said

I would never" pay money to see him tied down"

and " beaten by gangsters from the West side of town"

And who told my husband that I was a liar?

And claimed " I had set that young stripper on fire"

Or slandered my name on that tea party list

" Girls Scout cookies that were soaked in my piss?"

Who hacked my e mail and credit card info

And spent all that money at Housewives And Nymphos

And posted receipts on a that junior high blog

Saying " This woman cries and she squeals like a hog"

A story of fiction? A story made up

from the recent libation that sits in my cup?

A lady who's nameless for on line conditions?

A legend of hope that may raise up suspicion?

(Dramatic Pause)

but if she is real...

She's dressed in all black and not much of a talker

Known to us all as the Tea Party Stalker

Maybe you'll met her and maybe you won't

If you are a Tea bagger... pray that you don't

To be continued...

your friendly cyberhood
Uncle samurai

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Birth Of HELLTARD: Rev Terry Jones

As an American; a blues guitarist; a philosopher; a monk with no religion...

I find religious tolerance, not only good for others, but also one of the many secrets of the arts. With out it, the ability to see beyond the horizon of narrow mindedness is limited. With an open mind, one may learn to look out into a strange world and take in the all the evidence as something mysterious and profound. As an artist, I find this necessary and some what mandatory if I want to reach people with my music. I have received many compliments and critique from all kinds of people as proof to the quality of this particular method. Then...there are other types of people who look out into the world of the mysterious and want to burn it all to hell.

And so at this point...some of you may be wondering wtf is HELLTARD?

Good question.

Allow me to explain:

A HELLTARD, to me, is someone who so ignorant that they have achieved a level of mental, spiritual and soulful retardation, that only the lord of the underworld and land of make believe could appreciate. It has nothing to do with actual mentally handicapped individuals. It is almost beyond describing, truthfully. Not until I witnessed the acts of Rev. Terry Jones from Gainesville Florida. In fact it was his fundamentally helltarded idea of burning the Qu'ran on September 11th that allowed me insight to manifest definition from two separate words. Hell and retarded. And in a comment thread this idea transpired...into this passage:

From the down in the syndrome of hell itself, this man comes staggering with drool on his chin and bib and of course, around the edges of his handle bar moustache... To not only bring about the change of his own mouth diapers (we hope... ) but to unite all asses with their holes of destiny in attempt to rid planet earth of all things deemed relatively ok. Have no fear! HELLTARD is here. As he rides into the sunset on his blue handicapped sticker adorned big wheel chopper of destiny... Turning sin into synapse errors...Trimming his beard with fire and of igniting a hatred inside the hearts and minds of Muslims so deep that even his chopper forks drown in the sad sad irony. Calling their religion "of the devil" ...even though we all know for a fact that...

only true evil likes to burn stuff.

(scary) Terry Jones is the birth of HELLTARD!

Don't miss HELLTARD: Drool on fire!

Coming this a theater near you...

Peace to Muslims, Christians and ALL religions that want to practice what they believe.

your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai