Monday, September 21, 2009

Po' Tree For Tea Baggers

As an artist/musician/writer, I'm always looking for the next batch of inspiration. I didn't have to look that far this week. The Tea Baggers are back! These folks send poetry straight to my cerebral. And since they are using the Tea Bagging as a theme...I thought I'd refresh my brain with some limericks. AND...I'll add in Health Care Reform to make it a hybrid topic for all you PC folks out there...

Topic for limericks:
Tea Bagging/Health Care Reforms

There once was a group of odd folks
Who thought they had started a joke
The punchline was wrong
and was way way too long
in their throat and they started to choke

The people they googled and crawled
Then they filled up the city town halls
The speaker was heard
And they ate every word
But to some the words tasted like balls

For eight years we had to lament
About psychotic vice presidents
Who dip their kahoners
In the banks of home owners
While having a gun accident

The news doesn't give it much thought
And you left wingers all know the plot
You'll argue and hag
As they dip a fresh bag
In your face for the next photo shot

If you were there standing so free
On a boat full of people at sea
Would you haggle the cost
Of a life jacket tossed
While the ones overboard float like tea

If things weren't a little bit odd
Maybe folks need a new healthcare plot
Maybe lights from the sky
As the lord Jesus sighs
And says Health Care's a message from God

So...have a nice week.

your friendly cyerhood
Uncle Samurai

Friday, September 18, 2009

An E Mail I Got Today

> Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami
> Herald.
> Colonoscopy Journal:
> I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an
> appointment for a colonoscopy.
> A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the
> colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one
> point passing briefly through Minneapolis.
> Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough,
> reassuring and patient manner.
> I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said,
> because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET
> I left Andy' s office with some written instructions, and a
> prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box
> large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in
> detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to
> fall into the hands of America's enemies..
> I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
> Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In
> accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food
> that day;
> all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less
> flavor.
> Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of
> powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with
> lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter
> is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes
> about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind -
> like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of
> lemon.
> The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great
> sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel
> movement may
> result.'
> This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may
> experience contact with the ground.
> MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here,
> but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much
> the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when
> you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty
> much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate
> everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you
> have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell,
> your bowels travel
> into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
> After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.
> The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.
> Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been
> experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was
> thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend
> for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
> At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood
> and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led
> me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a
> little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those
> hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you
> put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually
> naked..
> Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.
> Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was
> already lying down. Eddie also told
> me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep..
> At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I
> pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to
> the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.
> You would have no choice but to burn your house.
> When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into
> the procedure room,
> where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not
> see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there
> somewhere. I was seriously nervous at
> this point.
> Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began
> hooking something up to the needle in my hand.
> There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was
> 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs
> that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen'
> had to be the least appropriate.
> 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.
> 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading
> for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself,
> because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was
> like.
> I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
> yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
> moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
> Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt
> excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was
> all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never
> been prouder of an internal organ.
> On the subject
> of Colonoscopies...
> Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
> comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed
> that the following are actual comments made by his patients
> (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
> 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
> before!'
> 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
> 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
> 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
> 5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
> 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
> 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
> 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
> 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
> 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
> 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
> 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
> And the best one of all:
> 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
> there?'

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Kurt Cobain and Leadbelly

Leadbelly – “Where Did You Sleep Last Night?” mp3

Leadbelly found at Pd2ten

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Political Song

Blind Willie Johnson – “If I Had My Way I’d Tear The Building Down” mp3

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Van Jones Is Now Free To Roam The Country:Thank You Glenn Beck

I thought this article was cool. It is also a good mental exercise to see the beneficial side of something that looks suspiciously doubtful.
Which reminds me to add a vitrual on line 'shout out' to Arianna Huffington for stickin' it to the man, every time with great journalism. Whoop whoop!

Thank you, Glenn Beck. By helping force the resignation of Van Jones, you have done a great service to your country. But in the exact opposite way than what you intended.

Your vile and vicious smear campaign has helped reverse one of the worst examples of miscasting since John Wayne took on the role of Genghis Khan in The Conqueror.

Don't get me wrong: Van Jones was the best person for the job he just gave up. But the job was not the best use of Van Jones.

Contrary to the media caricature, the real Van Jones is a (continue reading)

SO here is a tune for Glenn cheap skate!
You're only talkin' down to the people lookin' up...
and we got our heads up high...

Old Home Movies

The Botticellis

“The Reviewer” (mp3)
from “Old Home Movies”

your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai