Wednesday, October 22, 2008

What if things were turned around?



My friend Big Jim, an Alaskan, sent me this e mail.
I credit this whole post to him.
God bless his heart.(AND America, too. Yah betcha)

What if the presidential candidates were in each others shoes for a moment?

Like that movie where the mother and daughter switch places for a day?
Remember that movie? If you do then you are old enough to vote and should be voting soon...
Let's begin:

What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard
Law Review?


What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of
his graduating
class?


What if McCain had only married once and Obama was a
divorcee?
What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a
long affair while
he was still married?


What if McCain were still married to the first woman he
said 'I do' to?
What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife
after she no
longer measured up to his standards?


What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became
addicted to pain
killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable
organization?
What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?


What if Obama were a member of the Keating-5?
(Five US senators accused of corruption in 1989 igniting a major political scandal as
part of the savings and loan scandal in the late 1980's and early 1990's)



What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?
What if McCain were a charismatic,eloquent speaker?


What if Obama was the one who had military experience
that included
discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?
What if Obama was the one who was known to publicly
display a serious
anger management problem?
What if Michele Obama's family had made their money
from beer
distribution?


What if things were switched around?
Would the country's collective point of view be
different?


What if the Obama had paraded five children across the
stage following the
debate including a 3 month old infant and an unwed, pregnant
teenage
daughter?


Could racism be the culprit??? [This most certainly must
be a rhetorical
question!]

If these questions reflected reality, do you really
believe the election
numbers would be as close as they are?
This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and
minimizes
positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative
qualities in
another when there is a color difference.


You are The Boss... which team would you hire?


With America facing historic debt, two wars, stumbling
health care, a
weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, mortgage
crises, bank
foreclosures, etc.


Educational Background:


Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a
Specialization in
International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude


Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in
Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)


vs.


McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899


Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism


Education isn't everything, but this is about the two
highest offices in
the land as well as our standing in the world.


Now, which team are you going to hire?

Thanks Jim...if any of you have any answers to any of these questions...by all means...leave them in the comment section of this blog!

This message forwarded to you by
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Po' tree

Letting old ghosts float away into the nuance that creates our future; captured by robots.
Sifting through the ashes of grief and turmoil; cleaning the bong water.

Memories that bring sweet nostalgia to the tip of my tongue; blueberries.
Folded again in the piles of laundry; oral traditions from dirty minds.






U.s

Sunday, October 12, 2008

In case you didn't realize #1

A message to the suicide bomber/terrorist folks who are being lured into this false sense of theological security by their so called leaders.
(We have some similar issues here in the States)
I have been hearing for years that some of these boys, who should be in college, are promised 72 virgins in the after life forever...
Ok...I hate to break it to you now...and I can't for the life of me figure out why NO ONE has bothered to inform you, but, uh....IN CASE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE...after having sex with the 72nd virgin...you will be surrounded by 72 clingy, emotionally attached , never able to stop talking, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY, NON-virgin women...FOREVER in what was SUPPOSED to be heaven...

But if you actually go to college and act your age, you will be surrounded by at least 72 virgins a day.
AND
You can also just move to Utah and become a Mormon. And have 7 or 2 virgins....

I think it's a better alternative to what these college kids are doing now.
C' mon...they're COLLEGE AGED boys...they could go through 72 virgins in the time it takes to complete one year of study...

This message brought to you by the United Negro/Japanese Coalition for
Better and Improved Sexual Relations with the Opposite Sex.

U.N.J.C.B.I.S.R.O.S. is also todays word jumble. How many words can you come up with?

Have a nice day and night...
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Friday, October 10, 2008

Palintology#5

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

OMG

I'm watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High. On HBO2. ' Member? The Movie?
Jeff Spicoli? You 'Member?
I'd vote for Spicoli before I'd even consider Palin as anything but a podium cleaner.
Isn't that amazing? I would have better faith in Jeff Spicoli as our VP for a bunch of reasons. The main reason would be that Palin would not be there to receive spiritual advice from Witch doctors on TV. Or...(whoah...I TOTALLY forgot that Forest Whittaker was in this movie.As the football player older brother dude #33 Charles Griffin. Great Trivia.) Oh and another good reason to have Spicoli instead of Palin...the pizza, man...the pizza. And of course Pheobe Cates in a bikini...a cool breeze...a nice bud...and a perfect wave. Thank God we have Obama and Biden.
Oh my god...that would be sooo cool.
Oh yeah...I almost forgot about a moment of enlightenment I had today. Did you know that every time you say " Oh My God " that you should be experiencing a moment of enlightenment? Think about it. It's practically a spiritual moment. Next time you hear some one say " Oh my god! " Think about it in this new way: First it's got the word god in it. Second, it always sounds like a moment of pure enlightenment. Third...listen to how it changes the context. "Oh my god...these shoes are, like, sooooo cool. Now here's the same context without the "oh my god."
Ready? OK. These shoes are, like , so cool. The "oh my god" tends to lift the context up a little higher and it adds a couple of O's to the word so, in this example. Another cool thing about this new philosophy... you don't have to go out and brain wash people into saying it. People already do. In fact people have been saying it for years. So next time you are hanging out with a bunch of sorority girls...listen. They may be more enlightened than you suspect. Have fun with your new enlightenment!
Ok...it's the Phoebe Cates bikini fantasy scene...gotta go...

U.s

Monday, October 6, 2008

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Gettin ready for the debate!