Friday, August 28, 2009


The 2008 Republican presidential candidate suggested during his radio show, "The Huckabee Report," on Thursday that, under President Obama's health care plan, Kennedy would have been told to "go home to take pain pills and die" during his last year of life.

...and die?

What excellent timing Mr. Huckabee has, eh? And what a way with words.

To Demonize not just one political figure (the prez), but also Ted Kennedy. Sure, Obama said taking pain pills instead of expensive medical care. BUT TED KENNEDY IS SOMEONE WHO CAN AFFORD HEALTHCARE! AND STILL TRYING TO GET HEALTHCARE FOR EVERYONE! Obama's point about a lesser alternative was aimed at people who cannot afford health insurance and/or health care. Schmuckabee is yet another American who'd rather watch 20,000 people die a year than think of a remedy.

That's right.

The statistic for people who die every year is 20,000. These are people who simply can't afford health insurance and are refused medical attention. And just like a typical republican conservative speaker, Schmuckabee says something so far out and ridiculous that it makes your head spin in the attempt to find the logic and sense. And while we are busy trying to locate the sense in the god awful statement, they use it as a decoy to start a ponzi scheme or a war, or something...while we are caught arguing over schematics.

Which we learned the hard way from 200 to 2008. How about no more of this crap?

This song I specifically wrote in response to guys like Schmuckabee.

The Uptones
"Ridiculous" (mp3)
from "Skankin' Foolz Unite!"
(Fun Fun Fun Recordings)

Ok...that's my freedom of speech quota for the month.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

RIP SRV 19 years ago today...

I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan play at the Concord Pavilion headlining over B.B. King back in 1988. A year later we were all struck by the horrific news of his untimely death. So every year on this date I have to tip my hat to one of the greatest guitar playing blues musicians of all times.
Mr. Stevie Ray Vaughan. Love always...and will never forget...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

And What Would Bill Say About It?

Today, I was driving down 101 South when all of a sudden, out of no where, a woman cuts me off, one handed. I do not mean to brag about her driving skills. Nor am I implying that she had only one arm, or that she was intentionally trying to show off her ability as a stupid person. I am talking about texting and driving at the same time.
Note to self: two eyes do not work the same way as two hands. Think about that for a second.

Now, I admit that she, with one hand, signaled AS she veered into my lane. Which did give me enough time to press the brake pedal and grab my video camera. Nice camera, too. It's about the size of a phone designed by the Flip company; probably for this kind of peculiar circumstance.
Now, my first reaction was to get angry and begin with the cursing and the name calling and the tail gating and such. I was actually thinking about following her home and shooting out her tires out with a bazooka. But instead of all of those atrocious things, I thought to myself: Self, what would Bill say about it? And that's when something clicked inside my head. The clicking sound, of course, was not actually IN my head. It was the sound of my Flip video camera switching on to record mode. Then something else happened inside of me. I began to do a horrible impression of Bill Cosby. I don't know why. But I think it was the best option, considering the fact that there were other people around me that enjoyed the act of breathing. And so as I reflect on this moment, I have no regrets. see...Bill Cosby is still alive. And anyone that can talk as much as him and still breathe in oxygen at his age, has shown us something very important about survial instincts.
And now, if you don't mind, I will share this moment with you people. Please keep in mind that I am a musician...and not a trained actor. What you are about to see is real...
(if you are receiving this in your e mail, you have to click on the title to get to the video)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

World's Youngest Ska Dancer!

As a certified Skankster, I take pride in what I do. I play in a ska band called The Uptones. It's not just a job, it's a way to produce instant happiness with fun music. Although sometimes I wish it did pay like a job, I do not fret my current financial situation. Because I know that during a ska show, money is the last thing on my mind.
It was yesterday that we, The Uptones, played Oakland Chinatown's Street Festival. And it was at this festival that we made history and fun happen simoultaneously. Not only did we pay homage to a culture rich with tradition, we witnessed something phenomenal. My niece might be the youngest ska dancer to ever pull a crowd onto the dance floor! From stage I did not even realize what was happening. But if you watch this video, you will see my niece, Aria. She's 2 and a half years old. Notice at the beginning of the song how many people were dancing. Then note the end. It is obvious to me that she has the gift of dance and the ability to enjoy ska music. I'm not saying that she is a protoge', I'm just realizing that it must be in the blood, or something.
The other great thing is that I do not have to convince people anymore about the magic of ska music. You can see it for yourself in this video.
Skanking Foolz Unite!
I am a proud Uncle Moose!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Michelle is The' Bama: Don't Blame her...

...Than conduct a poll designed specifically for the blogosphere. Check it out:

"Michelle Obama took a lot of flak for baring her arms in February, but now she may be the first first lady to descend the steps of Air Force One (or appear in public for that matter) in short shorts. After all, can you imagine(read more)


Uncle Samurai's new code of honor:

*If people are allowed to bring fire arms to the presidents speeches, then the first lady can show some hot legs. *

Michelle Obama happens to be a woman with legs worth showing. All the rest of the first ladies knew that they if they showed an ankle, they would get bile and audible groans of disapproval as a reaction.
So don't blame the first lady...Blame the booty...

...sorry old first ladies...Michelle is the Bama!

your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ray Stevens says: Hang Up And Drive

This ought to suit my hump day attitude. A redundant message to those who can't seem to grasp the concept of the automobile.
Found at MP34U

Hang Up And Drive
by Ray Stevens

American Slag Heap says: Can I get a round of applause for this man, here? With words that should have been said a long time ago, y'all. Do us all a favor and listen to this genius. If you are driving an automobile that was designed for TWO arms, then don't be reckless. Hang up and drive the dang car! A tip of the hat to my man Ray Stevens, with some vehicular wisdom that might actually save a few lives out there. From his CD appropriately titled One For The Road.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Sex Drugs and Blog n' Purge: TMSD-O9 virus found in airwaves!

I like sex. Don't you? It's got nothing to do with this article. Just making the title seem poetic...

I'm a blogger. Some days when I am lazy, I find articles that were already written and published, I copy and paste them here and do not expect anything in return. Here is an example:

Cocaine traces found on 95% of banknotes from Washington

Scientists have found traces of cocaine in 95% of banknotes collected in Washington, the American Chemical Society reports, and 90% from large cities such as Baltimore, Boston and Detroit. The lowest average was found on bills collected from Salt Lake City. The findings were presented at the 238th National Meeting of the ACS, which says the study suggests "cocaine abuse is still widespread and… » Full Story on

See? I didn't write that article. I haven't even read it. Someone else wrote it and got payed for it. I'm just sampling...and making the title poetic and upping my google ranking by using popular booty, sex and cocaine!

It reminds me so much of the music industry. Within the last 10-15 years, technology has enabled people to "sample" other peoples music and Frankenstein it in to their"own" creation.
We songwriters had to sit back and just watch the feeding frenzy begin. Now it's normal. It's pretty much expected. If you are in the R and B or Hip Hop genre, I'm willing to bet that that 75 percent of your art, craft, talent, or whatever you define it as, is based on computer skills. I'm only judging this by what I hear on the radio these days. This has produced art, yes. But it has wandered so far off the music path that people are starting to vomit.
It's true....
The other day I was in traffic and I was next to a Prius on the freeway. I was bored so I rolled down my window and asked the lady in the Prius what she was listening to. She said she wasn't, paused, shrugged and turned on the radio. Within 15 seconds her entire dashboard was covered in steamy mucas vomit bile. I almost puked myself. Then a miraculous thing happened. The guy in the car behind me puked in his car. Then the car in front of me. Then it just dominoed down the freeway. Cal Trams had to intervene for the biggest clean up I'd ever seen. It was sick and gross. I was sure it was the apocalpyse. But it wasn't. We found out later from a Cal Trams spokes man that a virus had been traced in the 26 bit sampling found in the songs that were on the air. An audio virus called TMSD-09 was the culprit. A U.C. professor said,
" If real music isn't brought back soon...with real instruments...and real talented artists...I'm afraid to say what the consequences will be...don't be surprised if you hear about this on NPR...we all know how real things become once they are on's time to refocus, people...think of the children..." He paused dramatically and then screamed,"Watch Soylent Green!" And then he vanished into thin air...
If you believe this story then you must be one of these culprits!
It's time to refocus.
I am also a musician...time to save the world again...
Here is a song called "Happiness"
all sounds were made by me. One real track at a time...

your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Buddhist Christ! What's the deal with the health care argument?

Whenever I hear about the health care arguments, I think of one man who tried to settle the same score. Now, I am a Buddhist rasied East Baythiest, but what I have rediscovered during todays research is that Jesus Christ was all about health care reform! I think what we really need is a democratic envangelist on the TV to get the word out to the people who have forgotten what the original message of Jesus was.

Only he would be able to talk to his people.

"Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me."

" When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. 13But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: 14And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."

The care of the poor is a branch of charity. In the narrow sense charity means any exercise of mercy towards one's fellowman rooted in the love of God.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Bacon Bra? BACON BRA?!!

Ok...I'm just a little disturbed by this image. Are you? At first, I wasn't.
Then...I thought back to those days when I was a child. I'm sitting in front of the TV with a half eaten sandwich, a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal, an orange that I probably won't touch and a commercial comes on. It's Sally Struthers. She is crying. Her make up is running down her face. Then I notice the flies. And the starving Ethiopian children. Sally starts to tell me things that bring guilt to the mind of someone who might be too young to truly comprehend guilt. I run out of the room...
" MOM!" I scream. "How come Archie Bunkers daughter ate all those kids food!??!"
I didn't really watch the whole commercial. But what I do remember is that I had extra food and these kids didn't have any at all.
So now...I'm all grown up. And I work on this computer everyday. And the Huffington Post sent me an e mail update with this article about what people shouldn't really do with bacon. And the same thought came to my mind. What do the starving children think about when they see grown ups playing with their extra food? What kind of mindless dicks would publish such vain atrocity? It's like saying, " Ha ha...we have sooo much food that we can put it on my wife's tits, snap a pic and make enough adsense money to buy more food! " And did you noice she's too ugly for a face shot?

Not to mention that bacon is sacred to me. Because it tastes good. That is the only reason I love bacon. It is something that should not be messed with. This gross sense of debauchery is typical and the epitome of how Americans have simply gone to the dark side.
Swine Flu... Now I understand.

(sigh) take my mind off this crap....I gotta find some music.
Here is some classic Django Reinhardt to do the job:

Django Reinhardt et le Hot club de France
“Intro” (mp3)
from “Echos de France”

Your Friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Cash For Clunkers? New Canvas For Ska Fans!

Out with the old and in with the new. Folks are starting to get rid of their jalopies and rust buckets which might be riddled with old bumper stickers that have been out dated for years now.

So why not slap something new and refreshing on that new vehicle! With a statement that is politically correct, hip AND more importantly, girl friendly!
Are you familiar with the old term for "skank?"
It used to mean wretched, filthy whore, drug worn lady of the night...etc...
And that aint right. Women hate that word.
The new and current meaning of the word "skank"
has been redefined by the world of Ska music fans and enthusiasts.

And now with this trend of Cash for Clunkers hitting the auto world, it's a perfect opportunity to re address this statement, with its more suitable definition. NO longer is this word a noun...

To Skank is to Dance.

Check it out'll see what I mean.