When ever I walk by a hair or nail salon, I get national geographic flashbacks of the African plains. I remember Miles Perkins from Mutual of Omaha's Wild kingdom telling me about the grooming habits of some exotic breed of monkey. And how natural it is to just sit down next to a friend and pick lice out of their scalp for lunch, or something. I'm not saying that's what goes on at nail salons. And I would never bring this topic up to anyone working there.
"Oh no you did NOT just call me a monkey groomer...! Oh HELL to the NAH! "
That would be drama. But recently a paleoanthropologist found a skull in South Africa that IS indeed the link between man and ape. Which means that this grooming habit has been with us for at least 2 million years, right? And that means that we have monkey habits that have been a part of our DNA for a long time. There have been clues along the way:
George W. Bush was my first clue. I mean...just look at him.
Sarah Palin actually looks and acts like a shaved monkey, too. She's kind of a post groomed ape status continuum for scientific research.
Michael Steele is the epitome of a perfect hybrid breed. Somewhere between monkey and a monkeys asshole. And not the pink puffy one either, just the normal monkey ass type.
In fact most republican politicians these days remind us of our fore fathers, don't they?
Monkeys don't ever demand free healthcare, do they?
Anyway, here is the link to the missing link:
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai
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