Wednesday, August 26, 2009

And What Would Bill Say About It?


Today, I was driving down 101 South when all of a sudden, out of no where, a woman cuts me off, one handed. I do not mean to brag about her driving skills. Nor am I implying that she had only one arm, or that she was intentionally trying to show off her ability as a stupid person. I am talking about texting and driving at the same time.
Note to self: two eyes do not work the same way as two hands. Think about that for a second.

Now, I admit that she, with one hand, signaled AS she veered into my lane. Which did give me enough time to press the brake pedal and grab my video camera. Nice camera, too. It's about the size of a phone designed by the Flip company; probably for this kind of peculiar circumstance.
Now, my first reaction was to get angry and begin with the cursing and the name calling and the tail gating and such. I was actually thinking about following her home and shooting out her tires out with a bazooka. But instead of all of those atrocious things, I thought to myself: Self, what would Bill say about it? And that's when something clicked inside my head. The clicking sound, of course, was not actually IN my head. It was the sound of my Flip video camera switching on to record mode. Then something else happened inside of me. I began to do a horrible impression of Bill Cosby. I don't know why. But I think it was the best option, considering the fact that there were other people around me that enjoyed the act of breathing. And so as I reflect on this moment, I have no regrets. Because...you see...Bill Cosby is still alive. And anyone that can talk as much as him and still breathe in oxygen at his age, has shown us something very important about survial instincts.
And now, if you don't mind, I will share this moment with you people. Please keep in mind that I am a musician...and not a trained actor. What you are about to see is real...
(if you are receiving this in your e mail, you have to click on the title to get to the video)

5 comments:

Aaron: Drunk, Angry and CoSmic.. said...

Who is operating the Camera?

Uncle Samurai said...

Bill

Aaron: Drunk, Angry and CoSmic.. said...

Nice Save, Moose.

Uncle Samurai said...

Also...look where the camera is. It's because I even have the camera hand on the wheel. If ya noticed...
=)

Aaron: Drunk, Angry and CoSmic.. said...

Yeah... there is that.