~we have a 211 in progress...can I get an officer down there pronto?!
Officer - "On my way...
(20 minutes later)
Officer- "SIR! Please put the gun down and step away from the counter!"
Perp- " No way man! YOU back off man...I gotta pay my damn mortgage...my wife is leavin' and both my kids are goin with her...I just got fired...I NEED the money!"
O- " You're makin' a huge mistake...think about the consequences sir...drop your weapon, put the money on the counter and put one hand on the counter..."
P- "...why one hand?"
O- (spark) puff puff...(cough) "...oooh wee...god damn...'ere..."
P- " what the...? What IS that? Is...is that weed?"
O- " This aint just weed, son...it's (cough) The Chronic. It's called Purple Brainfart or somethin'...'ERE man...take it! That's an order! TAKE IT!!"
P- "OK! ALright already, Jesus..." puff puff...(COUGH)...Jesus Chricst! (cough) This (puff) is some killer hay brah...(puff)...(cough)
O- "puff puff GIVE! That's another order... fer Christ's sake, GIVE me that gun...AND the money...THANK you...now...would you mind tellin' me what in the heck you think you were just DOIN' there, mister ? (puff puff) ...'ere... "
P- (puff puff cough) ( smile) "uh..... oh...I dunno man...you know...stress...child support...whaddya call this again?
'ere... "
O- "...Purple Brainfart...hold on...Hey...IS EVERYONE ok in here? No one hurt? All that money there? Good...now, this young man is going to apologize and then he is going to walk out of here with me...RIGHT?"
P- " uh...aww dude...I'm sorry man. I think NEXT time I'm just gonna... sell some weed, or something'. I forgot...it's legal now...my bad. I could've just sold that GUN... bought some herb...and then twi.."
O- " Alright, alright...you DO have to come with me now. These folks seem pretty upset in here, what with you wavin' that stupid gun around and all. WE need to finish this conversation downtown... But uh....... you should see some of the NEW stuff we got down at the station... came in yesterday...Bubbleberry 2.5 Update...that Bill Gates fund is on hit...knock yer frikken teeth back! "
P- " Really? ok..."
O- " what are you doin?"
P- " Aren't you gonna hand cuff me? "
O- " Hahahaha...as high as YOU are right now? You look like you need both arms... now, come on...
you gotta lighter? "
P - " uh...yeah. "
O- "... you can ride in the front seat..."
Don't forget to vote this November
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