Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Rick Santorum Sex Change Rumor: Was he a Hermaphrodite?
There is a rumor that just started that Senator Rick Santorum had a sex change. I wonder if that's true. New gossip is saying that he use to be a hermaphrodite and decided to go with one set of genitalia, finally. I just wonder if there is any confirmation that this information is true. Or if it is just some sort of political scandal and or propaganda add by Romney or Gingrich. And does it mean he will finally be a woman? And how many women will be upset by this news?
Anyone know?
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Rick Santorum: Frothy The No Man
I may be right or wrong but I thinkFrothy the No Man says NO to:
gambling
contraception
gutter politics
common sense
freedom of rational thought
premarital sex
Obama's creation of 240 million jobs
woman's rights
evolution and the science that explains it
fossils
pornography
Romney
Obama
Gingrich
African/Americans
Mexicans/Americans
Chinese/Americans
Japanese/Americans
Arab/Americans
Irish/Americans
French/Americans
German/Americans
Australian/Americans
American people who think for a living
women's opinions
any religion not christian
green energy
electricity
houses/apts
craigslist
kangaroos
professional sports
firemen
the US Military
musicians
music
poetry
LGBT/Americans
foreigners
global climate change
puppies
kittens
voting
old people
young people
I'm sure the list goes on and on.
And by using this Santorum based process of elimination, all that is left as a result...
is a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter.
And that is not very American. Not at all.
Not even to decent American Christians.
Stay tuned for more from
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai
Labels:
Americans,
contraception,
evolution,
Frothy The No Man,
gambling,
porn,
premarital sex,
Rick Santorum,
science
Google Santorum for Frothy Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter results
I really can't add anything to this fact. Because it is simply a fact. The top result search for google searching Santorum, as in Rick Santorum, the GOP presidential candidate is this:
santorum (san-TOR-um) n.
1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter
that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
Google never lies.
All I can really say is that back in 2003 during a 6 month trip to England, I remember having to explain our country's reasons for electing GW Bush over and over. That in itself was a mind bending and shameful task. But, if Rick Santorum gets elected as our Prez, I will have no other choice but to say that our right wing republicans are REALLY into some dirty messy anal sex. Google it yourself!
I'm not sure what the reaction will be from people abroad, or how many people approve a president of the USA with these moral standards, but I can be certain of one thing: Right-wing Christian virginity shall always remain in tact as long as it is addressed with Santorum decorum. I can only assume a sponsorship from the Depends diaper company is behind his push for election.
stay tuned for more from
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai
And of course, a proper shout out to DAN SAVAGE for his amazing work...
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Laws And Sausage - The Uptones of The United States Of America
"THOSE WHO LIKE LAWS AND SAUSAGE SHOULD NEVER WATCH EITHER BEING MADE."
And most of us agree. The process in which laws (and sausage) are made is a horrible and disgusting, step by step process. In ordinary day to day peace we may find disagreements. Disagreements can turn into to arguments. Arguments turn into fights. Fights lead to political upheavals. Political upheavals turn into war. The winner of wars make new laws to reestablish peace. A bizarre cycle. It is a strange hoola hooping of history, I say. But that isn't the worst of it. Nay. The greed that motivates politics is the worst of it. The reasons politicians go to war are usually not that complicated. It's always for money and the power to control the money. The method is this type of madness. And it destroys everything in its path.
With that being said, I would like to lighten the subject matter.
My good friend Eric Din from The Uptones has addressed this topic with one of my favorite methods of topic addressing. With a song. A catchy song, too. An amazingly well written and very poetic reprise of Churchill's quote. A tune called Laws and Sausage. This tune has a habit of getting stuck on replay in my brain for hours. I had so much fun with The Uptones when we recorded this. I think this song should be attached to our national anthem, actually. A mandatory musical suffix, if you will.
Anyway...
A brilliant woman named Lisa McElroy took The Uptones' "Laws and Sausage" song and illustrated it most poetically with archival footage, says Eric on his new facebook page called Laws and Sausage. Check it out if you want to get your rant on. I will see you there if you do. And now...
your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Too Strong
Looking back on American history, I have to stop and realize how far we have come. Our definition of civilization weighs heavily on the results we get from our struggles. All Americans are not going to see eye to eye on this, either.
On one side, there are the Americans who have always believed that the white race is superior to all races. Their historical demonstration of this psychotic philosophy has been proven wrong over and over again by our own United States constitution.
On the other side, are the people who continue to fight for freedom and civil rights. The people who have made adjustments and amendments to the constitution in order for it to stand for all people. We the people.
This song is about 3 of those law changes.
The *colored water fountain* and the *whites only water fountain* law change is depicted in the first verse.
The *women's right to vote* change is told in the 2nd verse.
And the last verse is about the change in marriage equality. Depicting an issue regarding gays and their right to marry in the United States. The recent defeat of the Prop 8 attempt by the right wing conservatives. The new breed of American haters that my generation must deal with.
I know they will never change their tired ways and that is sad and crazy. But then neither will we...and we get stronger and stronger each and every day...
Your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Susan G. Komen: Sleeping With The Enemy (song)
The Susan G. Komen For The Cure foundation has been in the spotlight of the news for the last couple of weeks. Initially pulling funds from Planned Parenthood, and then after a viral attack and pressure from thousands on the web, reversing that decision immediately. It was surprising to a lot of people. A shock, really. It also put Planned Parenthood in the limelight during these critical decision making moments of the GOP presidential race. The GOP has been attacking Planned Parenthood for years over the abortion-rights issue. Their campaign to take this decision and choice away from women is no secret. The Susan G. Komen foundation must have cracked under pressure from anti-abortion groups and caved in to their demands. Only to reverse that decision later:
“We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that cast doubt upon our commitment to our mission of saving women’s lives,” the Komen foundation announced in a statement Friday morning.
Now, usually when something like this happens on this scale, the GOP remains firm in their decisions. They don't allow emotions to alter their decision making in business and especially politics. Because the GOP is dominated by the men who don't really react to anything emotionally. Because they are focused on money, only.
And that is why this case is so unique to me. Because the one thing the GOP didn't anticipate was the fact that, yes, women do react emotionally. And in this particular case it WAS a business decision effected by an emotional reaction. Because this business decision effects the lives of women in the United States Of America. Which should warrant an emotional reaction to every man who has a female relative. Why shouldn't it?
And for the first time in a long time, I see before me the one crucial element in balancing out the power struggle in America. Because there have been millions of women who've caved into the rhetoric of men and given up their personal freedom and choices. There are too many women who do not feel safe because they fear this rhetoric. This rhetoric of fear which has been lavishly garnered by men in search of power and wealth. And backed by brutal physical and unwarranted abuse sold as punishment. But now, in this new age of technology, women can read and feel the support of millions via the internet in regards to their issues. Our issues. Women are speaking out with more confidence than we have ever seen. And getting results.
Because it simply makes sense. As if your own grandmother was telling you. And more and more, women like this are breaking free from the greedy, selfish, power thirsty businessmen who have been oppressing women longer than any other group of people in the history of mankind...
To all the fathers, brothers, sons, uncles...
This message has to be shared and spread in anyway possible. Any format. Any version. This song is my version of this message...
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sideways by The Musashi Trio
The ability to compromise the changes of our own demise
Tucked inside and lost behind the darkness we've just enterprised for funds
Just for monetary funds
Motivated everyday to lose and find another way
Until the path illuminates the vision that might blind you like the sun
It might blind you like the sun
Enlightenment strikes like thunder to the mind
Reeling back you open up your eyes
Shed another layer to be pleasantly surprised as the world goes SIDEWAYS or a little while
The constant change of everything has written one more song to sing
Voices ring in harmony with those who don't take more than what they need
Don't take more than what they need
Enlightenment strikes like thunder to the mind
Reeling back you open up your eyes
Shed another layer to be pleasantly surprised as the world goes SIDEWAYS or a little while
Motivated everyday to lose and find another way
Until the path illuminates the vision that might blind you like the sun
It might blind you like the sun
Enlightenment strikes like thunder to the mind
Reeling back you open up your eyes
Shed another layer to be pleasantly surprised as the world goes SIDEWAYS or a little while
Big Brother
<
Big brother has a name and his name is url
(aka) H double T P colon with 2 slashes, Girl
You know his plan and execution of the big take over
Ballin’ dollars on the web like an arachnid rover
Sittin’ trapped like a bug inside a virus on line
My legs have atrophied and petrified right under my spine
And my vocabulary’s changin’ and my memory, too
Do you remember browsin’ links at your dads barbeque?
I try to talk to my friends they put their book in my face
I’m sending letters of affection to the stars in my space
Yeah I’m attached to my server like the phone in your head
We used to talk about clothes now we discuss them on threads
You leave the house in your pajamas wearin’ Ugs and no socks
You can’t deny it I just read it in your friends comment box
You say you have an education but I say LOL
You got no punctuation skills and you’re too lazy to spell
Oh B T W I’m guessing that your B double F
Has got a photograph of you photographing your self
And so I’m ROTFLMAO clutching my side
As you continue texting messages to friends while you drive
Big Brother is growing so big bright and blue
And his huge electric globe has been caressed by you
And if you think it’s hard enough to get connections through
Then think about the link he wants to send to you
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wild Wild Mess (short version)
Yeah I'm thinking 'bout a girl I love
She's like the sun and the stars above
When I sleep it's what I'm dreamin' of
As I wake up to a world that's tryin'
So hard to keep the hope from dyin'
Every woman's got an endless smile
To help guide another full grown child
Oh I'm talkin' 'bout a girl I know
She really knows how to love me so
She'll remind me what I'm living for
As I wake up to a world that's tryin'
So hard to keep the hope from dyin'
Every woman's got an endless smile
To help guide another full grown child
Sometimes I'm living in a fantasy
That my woman seems to give to me
Helps to deal with reality
As I wake up to a world that's tryin'
So hard to keep the hope from dyin'
Every woman's got an endless smile
To help guide another full grown child
In this wild wild mess
Such a wild wild mess we're living in
It's a wild wild mess
We got a wild wild mess to straighten out and never give in
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