Self Service Man

Your just a self service man with nothing to gain

But satisfaction as you dish out your pain
In a direction that will hurt someone else
So you can turn and run away from your self

Hard times come too easy
Thin line starts to fade
All the lies are so deceiving
As they try to push the truth away

Some have tried to give fair warning
And some have tried to heal the pain
But some will only look for others
To hold accountable for all the blame

Your just a self service man with nothing to gain
But satisfaction as you dish out your pain
In a direction that will hurt someone else
So you can turn and run away from your self

You raise your opinion
Just to bring people down
Can't take the competition
Unless you're standing on the highest ground

Some have tried to give fair warning
And some have tried to heal the pain
But some will only look for others
To hold accountable for all the blame

Your just a self service man with nothing to gain
But satisfaction as you dish out your pain
In a direction that will hurt someone else
So you can turn and run away from your self

Bad Bad Man Award for March 2012: Rush Limbaugh

This week's Bad Bad Man Award goes to the big, fat, racist, drug-addicted, lying, hypo-critical idiot himself:

Rush Limbaugh.

Or Rush Limpbowells, as I would prefer.

It has been way too long that we the people of the United States of America have had to listen to his chauvinistic pedantic and condescending attitude, squealing like a stuck pig on our national radio stations. It really is a testament to our tolerance as a people that we have honored our freedom of speech amendment for this long, considering the ineptitude of this loquacious backwards thinking butt-tard. And I may add that it is nobody's fault, really, that such a man could be so insecure about his own perverted weakness, that he would need to pop pills for endurance. Nobody's fault except Rush, that is.

Did I say pills?

Rush Limpbowell's latest scandal revolves around the continuing rhetoric and paranoia about birth control pills, so vehemently expressed by the majority of the GOP party. Now, of all the issues in the world I can think of that involve the shallow concerns of a helltarded glob of misery, I would think that pills would be the last. Because...if anyone should be the authority on any type of pill that is prescribed by a doctor (or not), I'm thinking Rush Limpbowell's name would not, could not and should not have ever EVER been brought up. Because after his famous Oxycontin episode (the drug now synonymous to Rush Limbaugh's name) I would think he'd have just kept his big greasy pork lips shut. But nooooo. Not Rush Limpbowells.

He can't shut up. It's impossible. He speaks from his bowells. And they are limp. And greasy.

For one, he has a shit load of fans who just loooooove him. And since the election of Obama, they have all been up in arm's fat over this black president thing, and the "state of our nation" and all that ridiculous racist paranoid bullshit. And maybe it's because they are all so very very afraid that one day...in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...white people will become...

(you may wanna sit down for this)

The minority.

GASP!

And OH man, can you imagine what's gonna happen on that fine day? Every. Single. Civil rights amendment issue that ever was will be there for the skewering by the brand new minority:

the almighty white people. And I don't mean good decent white people. Most of them don't even see it as an issue because of their decency and common sense. I am specifically talking about the ones who are racist, evil, ignorant, sexist and dumb as a door nail. The ones who were, in fact, the very reason that civil rights had to be made into an issue in the first place. Yep, those fuckers. And they are all gathering momentum with the help of the tea baggers, the right wing GOP'ers, the neo nazis and ass tards like Rush Limpbowells. And in their little pee sized brains they have made arrangements with their higher power above to make this a holy crusade. (I knoooow. It's pretty fucking redonkulous, the consistency of these types.) And they breed like wild Jackal-Rabbits in the night, making it a holy law of the sacred cross to never use birth control. They are so far into their insanity that they are just gonna come out and say that rape should now be accepted as another way to make more pretarded babies. (Yup, I said pretarded. I don't want to insult the mentally disabled by comparing them to these helltards, such as Rush Limpbowells). Having rape babies means they have a better chance of converting brand new humans into Rush Limpbowell types, so that the almighty (racist) white people won't go extinct. Yes, that is what they are afraid of now. They fear equality. Still. (I knoooow) Which is the root of their insecurity. This insecurity starts when they are young. It's taught to them when they are little babies. Isn't that fascinating?

But it's no mystery that a lot of them grow up

to be exactly like Rush Limpbowells:

A Bad Bad Man.

Your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

Anti Rick Santorum birth T-shirt

Anti Rick Santorum Ladies T-Shirt by unclesamurai
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Google Santorum for Frothy Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter results

I really can't add anything to this fact. Because it is simply a fact. The top result search for google searching Santorum, as in Rick Santorum, the GOP presidential candidate is this:

santorum (san-TOR-um) n.

1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter

that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

Google never lies.

All I can really say is that back in 2003 during a 6 month trip to England, I remember having to explain our country's reasons for electing GW Bush over and over. That in itself was a mind bending and shameful task. But, if Rick Santorum gets elected as our Prez, I will have no other choice but to say that our right wing republicans are REALLY into some dirty messy anal sex. Google it yourself!

I'm not sure what the reaction will be from people abroad, or how many people approve a president of the USA with these moral standards, but I can be certain of one thing: Right-wing Christian virginity shall always remain in tact as long as it is addressed with Santorum decorum. I can only assume a sponsorship from the Depends diaper company is behind his push for election.

stay tuned for more from

your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

And of course, a proper shout out to DAN SAVAGE for his amazing work...

Susan G. Komen: Sleeping With The Enemy (song)

The Susan G. Komen For The Cure foundation has been in the spotlight of the news for the last couple of weeks. Initially pulling funds from Planned Parenthood, and then after a viral attack and pressure from thousands on the web, reversing that decision immediately. It was surprising to a lot of people. A shock, really. It also put Planned Parenthood in the limelight during these critical decision making moments of the GOP presidential race. The GOP has been attacking Planned Parenthood for years over the abortion-rights issue. Their campaign to take this decision and choice away from women is no secret. The Susan G. Komen foundation must have cracked under pressure from anti-abortion groups and caved in to their demands. Only to reverse that decision later:

“We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that cast doubt upon our commitment to our mission of saving women’s lives,” the Komen foundation announced in a statement Friday morning.

Now, usually when something like this happens on this scale, the GOP remains firm in their decisions. They don't allow emotions to alter their decision making in business and especially politics. Because the GOP is dominated by the men who don't really react to anything emotionally. Because they are focused on money, only.

And that is why this case is so unique to me. Because the one thing the GOP didn't anticipate was the fact that, yes, women do react emotionally. And in this particular case it WAS a business decision effected by an emotional reaction. Because this business decision effects the lives of women in the United States Of America. Which should warrant an emotional reaction to every man who has a female relative. Why shouldn't it?

And for the first time in a long time, I see before me the one crucial element in balancing out the power struggle in America. Because there have been millions of women who've caved into the rhetoric of men and given up their personal freedom and choices. There are too many women who do not feel safe because they fear this rhetoric. This rhetoric of fear which has been lavishly garnered by men in search of power and wealth. And backed by brutal physical and unwarranted abuse sold as punishment. But now, in this new age of technology, women can read and feel the support of millions via the internet in regards to their issues. Our issues. Women are speaking out with more confidence than we have ever seen. And getting results.

Because it simply makes sense. As if your own grandmother was telling you. And more and more, women like this are breaking free from the greedy, selfish, power thirsty businessmen who have been oppressing women longer than any other group of people in the history of mankind...

To all the fathers, brothers, sons, uncles...

This message has to be shared and spread in anyway possible. Any format. Any version.

This song is my version of this message...

Keep On Walking

If Egypt has taught us anything recently, it's that you can make a stand for your rights with out the use of violence. Which happens to be a very popular method in the world of music...for the last 1000 years, or so. Even Gangsta Hip Hop doesn't bruise or leave a physical mark when you listen to it. Or as Bob Marley put it: When it hits you, you feel no pain.

As a musician, I cater to this philosophy always and would rather compose, EDIT and sing my points of view to the people. Especially when it is so easy to do so using the incredible technology that has been bestowed upon us via the interwebs.

So here is a ska/reggae tune I wrote and recorded at my friend Ev's. It goes out to the GOP and anyone else who needs a little reminder of what too much cynical thinking will do to humanity. Just because the Bible says dooms day is possible doesn't mean that it is inevitable. Maybe it's just a little side note about what could happen if you don't take some ancient advice from some folks who learned the hard way.

Even as a Buddhist, I concur...

All sounds made by yours truly

your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

Keep On Walking Demo by Mooska

The Legend Of The Tea Party Stalker: Christine O'Donnell

Delaware's Christine O'Donnell has recently filed a complaint with Facebook for something I am not even sure about. The letter has surfaced to sources unknown and many republicans are confused.

This version of her letter was said to be a tribute by an unknown writer. It was originally in the Polish language, but later transcribed into English. The fact that it rhymes is both amazing and purely coincidental:

Dear Facebook I have a bone to pick

Someone has slandered my name and pics

I'm trying to enjoy my new victory

but it's difficult when someone's stalking me

I receive a letter in my inbox daily

it's from T.P.S. could you block her maybe?

It gives me an ache in my poor tired head

Read it yourself, this is what she said

Hi Miss O'Donnell, I think you're so nifty

you look really good, not a day over 50

congratulations girl on your huge senate win

It makes me want to touch myself again

I know for a fact that we both are not married

I'm bi curious, so this shouldn't be scary

any time I see you with a mic in your hand

I wanna be more than just facebook friends

What if that mic was a toy that you got me

and you're looking up like a well trained husky

down on your knees with a look of pure sin

with sad puppy eyes and conservative grin

I 'd love to meet you and clear up this mess

I hope that this letter does not bring you stress

let's start a new club so our friends are impressed

the Savior Alliance for Lifting my Dress

Please don't be bashful and don't think I'm crass

I heard you went down onto Dickinson's class

and came right back up with a bachelor's degree

but lost your old mortgage to IRS fees

Which just gets me hotter than teen fornication

To know that we women are strong in this nation

paid out vacations from me with libations

and we can move past all this skype masturbation

but I'll keep that pussycat right in the bag

you call me dyke and I'll call you my fag

and every long day will be ours to let drag

all your GOP friends will have reason to brag

Republican party or two party lickin'

I heard Sarah Palin still tastes like fried chicken

So please write me back and please don't abort this

I'll send it to God if you choose to ignore this

Sincerely T.P.S.

The Legend of The TEA PARTY STALKER will continue...

Your friendly cyberhood

Uncle Samurai

(This is a fictional blog. Words and photos from this article do not necessarily reflect the opinions of google)