Monday, November 24, 2008

Obama gifts #2 - English as a first language

Hello. How are you?
Today we will practice complete sentences. Ready?
See Obama. See Obama speak. Speak Obama speak.
Yay! Wasn't that fun?
What did we learn from this? I think we have just learned how to take our time adjusting to the way English was meant to be comprehended. It may take a few of us longer.
Do realize that we have been quite used to this version :
(Top 10 G W Bush quotes I found on line)

1. We need an energy bill that is going to encourage consumption.
2.  When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried, and persecuted as a war criminal.
3. Sometimes, Washington is one of these towns where the person( pause )...people who think    they've got the sharp elbow is the most effective person.
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.
5.  I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
6.  For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it.
7. It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce.
8.  You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
9.  Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep      the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.
10. Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that      we can find in our neighborhoods.

So get out your i phones and spell checks and take some notes when you can; don't feel frustrated when you use a semi colon in the wrong place. Practice deep breathing to deal with the people who prefer the way GW speaks to us.

And now... some Louis C. K. for your face...

Your friendly cyberhood
Uncle Samurai


Lapizlazuli said...

Help! Truely! Gee dubya, what a shame, truely. What can you say? See spot run. Run Spot run. Dick and Jane went to vote this year. They took and their friends; and this time their vote was counted. Yay!

Uncle Samurai said...